why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
