wat bout pragnant strippers??
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
