Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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