she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
