So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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