Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
