That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
