perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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