Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
