Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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