Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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