Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
