I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
