I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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