ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
