Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
