take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
