The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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