butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
