i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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