If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize