we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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