Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
