How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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