I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
