wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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