Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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