I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
