do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
