question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
