Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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