There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
