dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize