okay pat passed out under dana's car
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
