So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
