Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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