someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i dont even know how to be here
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
