I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
