im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
