Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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