sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
