i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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