all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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