dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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