i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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