I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it was like having sex with a tree stump
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
