I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
