and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
