there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
