Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize