my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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