Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
