i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
These tits shall not be calmed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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