Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
