Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
