That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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