I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
