Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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