I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize