I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Oh god it's open bar.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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