Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
