i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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