I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
kristin has been a bad kristin
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
