I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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