3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
