Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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