You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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