Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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