My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
