then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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